“God’s Spirit beckons…”
(Rom 8:14a, MSG).
After living in Puerto Rico for the last year and a half, I had a desire to return to the U.S. mainland. But curiously, this desire was not spawned by the economic turmoil that currently surrounds the island’s financial and political climate. It was not triggered by an emotional reaction due the social and moral decay of our current world or any particular life event. It was neither the product of long hours of prayer and intersession that sought god’s destiny or unknown will for my life and family, nor a word of prophesy from a professional religious guru that paved and lighted an otherwise uncertain path to the future. None of the above. Where did this desire initiate from then? From my spirit, the inner man of the heart.
However, because I grew up within a religious family and culture, as friends and relatives bid me farewell, I was often asked: Did you pray for direction? Did you put this decision in god’s hands? And many other like-questions. I was tempted to say, “no, I didn’t.” If I did, I may have been lectured or perhaps asked to provide an alternate spiritual explanation. But I think no amount of explanation would have sufficed. In all honesty, I think it would have probably gone in one ear and out the other. How do I know? That’s what often happened to me years earlier.
Instead, I responded positively to their questions and nodded in agreement to their follow up comments. These days I feel more discrete about sharing my theology and convictions. Because of my need to vent out my frustrations, I now blog my journey instead of following the urge of my fleshly desires to act as a religious Pharisee who travels land and sea seeking to proselyte a few into my own theology.
Nevertheless, although this life’s season I don’t spend a whole lot of time praying for spiritual guidance, I seek to follow my spirit’s intuition. I now have a keen awareness of my inner-self created in the image and likeness of my spiritual parent. I am awaken to the fact that I AM one in spirit with my spiritual father, and “feel” more inclined to follow my spiritual/divine DNA that springs naturally from my heart within. This DNA is what I call my spiritual feelings, guts and intuition.
Consequently, I no longer wander around seeking for an answer outside myself. I believe I’ve been endowed with the tools necessary to live a happy and successful life. I rather seek to follow my heart’s intuition rather than an external spiritual mentor, an ancient god-book or a god-man out of the sky. These had value within my former theological worldview, but I see my faith as evolving. That deity I used to worship, I know to have become one with me. Why then continue seeking him outside myself? Non sense!
However, how did I know moving to Tennessee was right? I didn’t! At the time of making the decision I just searched my guts for any sign of discomfort. Discomfort within my guts, I’ve learned, is like a red light. It’s sort of a signpost that asks me to stop in my tracks. Perhaps a wrong turn or a cautionary warning of wrong direction. Lack of this discomfort I interpret as an okay from my spirit to continue the course. Other times, decisions produce joy. Joy I interpret as a sign of right direction.
In the past, the lack of this joy or assertiveness would have produced panic. I would start asking myself questions like: What if I miss god’s perfect plan for my life? What if I miss my destiny?, and many other what if’s. In fact, even if I miss it, I have learned more than if I froze in wait for an sign in the sky. Life is an adventure and only moving forward will this journey unfold into a marvelous venture!
Nevertheless, I am learning to be confident in and trusting my spiritual DNA. As I grow confident in my inner self’s sense of direction, the less I worry about a particular outcome, just a positive one.
For example, I recently felt discouraged by the lack of response from employers I have applied with. Two weeks ago I felt so bad, I felt like running away from everything and having a pity party. In my way to my self-pity indulging, I suddenly sensed a boldness emanating from my guts. As I listened, I could recognize my parent’s voice encouraging and asserting my inner strength and value. I immediately, opened my mouth and allowed my spirit to fill it: “I have unique knowledge, skills and abilities (SKA’s). Somewhere, there’s someone in need of those SKA’s. To that someone, employer or company, I am the right fit. I am a valuable and worthy asset to them, and they are the right fit for me. We mutually benefit each other. I will provide them with the SKA’s they need to succeed, grow and profit and, in turn, they will provide me with the resources I need to successfully provide for all my family’s needs. Therefore, I allow myself to be connected with that someone, employer or company in need of a blessing such as myself.”
After uttering these words, I felt so encouraged within, that my fleshly desire to pity myself, rapidly dissipated. I felt a renewed strength and joy within that inspired me and launched me into increasingly positive expectations. As I write these words, those expectations continue to form and take shape within myself. I know it because Jesus unveiled the truth of a spiritual law when he said, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good…for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45).
In essence, I am learning that my spirit is the light my spiritual father has endowed me with, which provides confidence enough for my next step. This light is neither sheds unto my feet’s path because of my long repetitious prayers, my spiritual standing within a religious organization, nor because of my devotion to a god-book nor the correctness of my theology. It does because that’s my father’s gift; his inheritance to me; his child.
Freedom is my religion!
Featured photo by: David Yu